In order to have a successful partnership, it is helpful to understand the
basic relationship dynamics between couples and spouses. Knowing what it takes to have a strong and fulfilled
togetherness will help you either continue on your path or make the necessary changes to find love and
happiness in your life.
To achieve a deep level of commitment, partners must learn to eradicate the ingrained set of conditions and
expectations within. These views which most people project onto themselves and each other are based in a value
system which is personal and not necessarily truth. In order to have true happiness, remove the expectations you
have placed on each other based on who you anticipate the other should be.
Remove your emotional reactions, analysis of your self and your partner and simply choose to BE together. If you
realize you accept the person you are with and they in turn accept you, you will have found true unconditional love
which exists without judgment or victimization.
Most couples hope to receive respect from one another in the beginning but over time this is marred by failures
and projected differences in views. If you learn to accept the person you love as they are without these belief
systems, you have offered them the ultimate in respect. This means you stand behind their actions and acknowledge
their feelings and decisions. You do not condemn, judge or point out failures since you both realize you are on a
life path of awareness and growth.
Having proper communication skills is the most fundamental of the basic relationship dynamics. Friendship equals
communication and communication equals friendship. Without either, the other does not exist. To have complete
friendship, you must again adopt the mentality that you and your partner are neither perfect but rather unique.
The journey through life’s tribulations and success’s is shared and expressed together once in a relationship
and there is no right or wrong path. While it is true some determine a person is not what they need or prefer in
their journey, once you have agreed to take the road together, it can be bountiful and blessed with understanding
if you learn to work together.
Friendship involves empathetic listening, deeper levels of sharing and removing the boundaries which we innately
place around us for the outside world. By learning to speak from the heart and trust in the others ability to hear
and understand, you have allowed for friendship to exist in your relationship.
The difficult part of this relationship dynamic is that most people show a
different and often varied view of themselves to others. In the beginning of every relationship, most
individuals put on an act and show only their good side (as they see it) rather than their true self. The sad
thing is that often later in the relationship, couples realize only too late that the person they thought they
were with is not actually that person at all.
This then requires them to consider whether or not they want to be with this new person or not. If you begin to
develop a sense of your own authentic self and stop following the voices in your head which dictate who or what you
should be, you will be able to provide your real self for the person you are with.
This will also help your partner to realize it is okay to be real and understand there are not any expectations
placed upon either of you. This of course can be difficult as we all have preconceived notions of who we want our
partner to be and what we want our life to look like. These ideals must also be removed in order to simply exist
together and grow as life changes and transforms you.
Many couples think intimacy just involves sex. This is far from the truth of the matter and though there is a
level of satisfaction in love making, the bond of intimacy travels even further. The concept of being truly naked
is more than the physical removal of clothing but rather the idea of baring the soul for another to see. This of
course is difficult to do as we all hide behind masks, walls and ingrained insecurities.
The best way out of this trap allowing yourself to truly experience another and offer yourself blindly to them
as well. Complete trust and a devotion to openness will bring about the level of intimacy a relationship requires
to be successful. In the end this will ignite passion and a deeply satisfying union.
By understanding the basic dynamics of a relationship you can begin to unravel the chains which hold you back
from experiencing yourself and yourself with another person. If you both have these goals in mind, you can achieve
a great level of commitment and freedom with each other as you explore all that life may throw your way.
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